no hard feelings... promise!!

"I WILL LOVE AGAIN THOUGH MY HEART IS BREAKING. I WILL LOVE AGAIN, STRONGER THAN BEFORE..."

lyrics from the song "i will love again" by cher

many people would usually treat you as someone to be pitied when you just came from a "short-termed" relationship that didn't even end the good way. i know they know how it feels to lose someone in any way- especially the hard way.

a friend told me, "ang daling magbitiw ng isang desisyon, simpleng salita. ' yoko na! ' pero ang mahirap, hindi iyong sakit na kapalit, kundi iyong paninindigan na ayaw mo na, kahit mahal mo pa." well, i've been through that. it's not easy, i'm telling you. it was not easy letting your mind and heart fight over something and it really made my life miserable for a couple of months.

i decided to let go of that person because i have so many goals to achieve and sticking myself to the past wouldn't help. after having decided and started to let go, someone told me that he's going to give up his life being a bachelor in two month's time. it was not easy accepting that fact, knowing that you also shared the same dreams together. i am a type of person who always look at endless possibilties until circumstances tell me that there would be none. there's nothing wrong with hoping that everything would be back to where you have left off. but at least i made the right decision. sometimes the saying "ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan, hindi makakarating sa paroroonan" is true but to a certain extent only. if we look back too much into the past, we might not notice danger in the way we're walking and eventually hurting ourselves more.

so what should me do to the past? just look at it occasionally. the past gives us a lot of lessons that we can use the next time we encounter similar experiences.

i'm now in the time of my life. i get to focus more on my family, friends, studies, my service in the parish, and my involvement in the school organization i'm in. imagine how that intital notion of a "loss" of someone gave rise to a lot of time to manage and allot for these.

not only have i finally decided to let go, but also, i've decided not to enter into a relationship for the meantime. i'm just starting to enjoy the joys of being single and unattached. entering a relationship, and eventually, entering married life, can wait. many people actually mistake me for a lady who's old enough to marry. i always take it as an insult, to think that i'm only 20. i used to tell them, " darating din KAMI diyan...". now, here's what i tell them: "i haven't found the person whom i would love, who would love me and make me feel that it's worth giving up all the joys of being single just to be with him for the rest of my life." nice answer, isn't it... ü

a different kind of semestral break

it's the end of the semester. i'm enjoying the comforts of late night tv viewing and having 10 hours of sleep every night. fun, isn't it? when the final exams were over, i have had the craving for rewarding myself of squeezing myself in bed. now, i have so many work to do and things to think about to keep me busy.

now that i'm having the 1-month long sembreak, the first thing to do: CLEAN MY ROOM AND SHELVES OF FIRST-SEMESTER STUFF. it's time to keep the handouts and pile them. they maybe suitable for the FOPC next year. ü the bluebooks, we know what to do with them, especially if they have failing marks in them. it's nice to forget about them. past is past. üü i compiled the unused leaves of my notebooks to make notebooks for next sem. that would save me trips to the bookstore. cleaning my room doesn't only make my room tidy enough but also i ponder on the things that resulted from my hard work. time for reflection would be enough to somehow motivate me to do better next semester.

next, i'm up to fixing CHOIR MATTERS. until now, i haven't decided what to do with members who don't attend practices. not only that, i got to fix the line-up of songs for the coming seasons, advent, the simbang gabi, christmas, that is. in two months' time, so many activities are prepared for the music ministry. now, that's work to do.

i'm doing all this because i love these things i do. i don't mind stressing myself as long as i get my 10 hours of sleep everyday. that's enough. ü anyway, the semestral break would be a boring one if you don't have anything to do or anything to look forward to- gimmicks with the family and friends, spending time with choirmates, spending time with those people whom you didn't see for the last 12 months, etc. that would be the best way TO ENJOY LIFE. we have all the time to have fun, for if time comes and we are to have a lot of responsibilities, then it would mean less time to gimmick.

time indeed fly so fast, even if we think that an hour would last a day. the next time we know, it's already registration period and again, another time to have fun in lining up, and of course, to look forward to going back to school and meet former and new classmates and people. ü